I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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