You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
