we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
