the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
