Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
