Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
