Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
