whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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