Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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