I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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