He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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