Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
