And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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