if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
