If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
