but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
