Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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