Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
