i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
