Me. At least after what I've been through.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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