how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
