we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
