What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
