If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize