So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
