In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
