Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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