dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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