cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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