I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Randomize
