okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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