You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
