Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
