He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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