yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
