just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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