At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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