Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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