new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
