is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize