onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
