Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
