Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
