We're like a lot better than the average bears
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
