The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
