is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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