i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
