tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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