happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
