How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
