When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
