we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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