she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
