Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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