It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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