If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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