do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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