I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
