I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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