You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
