Im at strip club and am horny
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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