i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize