Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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