Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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