just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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