So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Randomize