I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
